Are You A Best-Friend Parent?

Our birth is not possible without two people who decides to bring us into this world, our parents. Most of us are fortunate to have both parents whilst growing up till now. Some of us may have lost one or both along the way and looked up at someone else as a father/mother figure.

Well, no parents are the same and there’s no one parenting method to raise all kids. Every child is different and every parent is different. There’s no right or wrong way of upbringing. What may have worked for the first child may or may not work for the second. And what may have worked for us may or may not work for our kids. What we need to understand is that when a child is born, a parent is born too.

I grew up with a super strict dad and a very patient mum. There was some kind balance there. Both parents did not raise their hands on us…us as in me and my two elder sisters. No rotans, no hangers, basically there was no violence. Dad did all the disciplining just by staring. All we needed was that one look from our dad. He still gives the looks but the kilowatts are not as powerful as how it used to be. Lol! We had curfews!!! Actually, we still do, from 7pm we slowly extended to 8pm, 9pm, 10pm and then he just says come home by tomorrow! Mum gets very worked up if we are not back by 10pm. But, that’s just them being protective. That’s how they express their love.

Talking about expressing, my family is not very expressive about how we feel. I’ve not heard my parents or siblings say “I Love You.” We hardly hug too unless it’s some special occasion like birthdays or Christmas. We do love each other but we don’t say it out loud. Parents did everything they could to bring us up and made sure we had everything they didn’t. I wouldn’t be able to return whatever my parents have done for me. Always will be grateful for them and for whatever they have done.

However, I wouldn’t go to them if I had an issue. I have this perception that I would bother them with my problems and I didn’t feel quite welcomed too, so I tend to bottle it up or settle them on my own. It’s not their fault though. It was just different back then. But times have changed and it’s good to see how parents have beautiful bonds with their kids these days. A child should be able to go to their parents if they had a problem. It’s so so important to let a child express how they feel about something, good or bad.

Parenting is such a joyful process. I hope that someday I’d be the parent I wanted when I was a child. A best-friend parent! This article is quite heavy eh? Let’s end it with a joke…

A few hundred years ago, John Wilmot, an English Lord said something significant about parenting, “Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up a child. Now I have six children and no theories!”

A big shout out to all parents out there, just remember that you are doing great no matter how you do it!